All's Fair in Love and War
by Rosie2009
Summary: Mal has been binge-pranking Evie all day long. When and where Mal least expects it, Evie gets her revenge. Very slight Ben and Mal or Bal, but largely a sisterly/best friend fanfic.


Mal's eyes darted over at the girl nearby her. She couldn't help it- she was terribly nervous. Evie wouldn't like what she was doing. In fact, she'd downright hate it. But Mal had to get her fix.

It had been too long since she had it. She needed it more than anything she had ever needed before and she couldn't envision another day or moment without it. Her brow furrowed, the metal quickly approaching its target.

"And just one more…. Yes!" she whispered in victory, successfully hooking up the last alarm clock. She stood carefully from her kneeling position behind her dresser, and moved to the door almost completely silently. Mal took the doorknob in her hand and carefully opened it, keeping her eyes on the girl sleeping soundly in the bed. She didn't want to wake up the bluenette if she didn't have to. She eased out of the door and kept it cracked, peeking in.

She needed some more mischief in her life.

Mal checked her newly purchased phone nervously and widely grinned at the time. It was eight-fifty-nine A.M. on the dot, and she knew that things were about to go nutty. Just as soon as it hit eight o'clock.

"Three…. Two…. One!" Mal watched eagerly as her phone turned over to nine and the alarm clock near Evie's bed began to go off. Mal could see Evie stirring a bit as she drowsily hit the alarm clock with a small noise of irritation.

It was going perfectly. Mal knew that Evie assuredly would not get up immediately. It was the weekend, after all, and Mal knew Evie loved her beauty rest when she could possibly get it.

9:01 came on her phone and the green-eyed girl suppressed a thrilled giggle as two more alarm clocks started making noise.

Evie shook her head and groaned, slapping her alarm clock again. However, it did nothing to stop the alarm clocks going off. Instead of bothering to try to find the clocks, she buried her head in her pillow and said something that Mal certainly couldn't understand.

Mal bit her bottom lip in sheer excitement. Her favorite alarms were about to go off.

Suddenly, very loudly, an assortment of shrill rings began to go off. Evie shot up in her bed, completely freaked out, and Mal resisted the overwhelming urge to laugh.

The bluenette tumbled out of her bed and landed on her rear end, crawling around to the other side to see how to stop the noise that was reverberating all over the room.

Evie managed to stop some of them pretty quickly, but Mal had hidden several, making it even more irritating to have to find and shut them each off. Evie stood up clumsily and stumbled over to Mal's nightstand, turning one off. Mal had expected her to find that one fairly easily. It was just Mal's usual alarm clock.

Evie then blearily looked around in an attempt to find where the other ones were at.

She finally decided to look in the closet, opening the door and sifting through the many articles of clothing within. Mal chuckled as Evie practically threw the one from the closet onto the ground in her haste to unplug it.

Mal stood there for a while, watching the victim of her prank stumble about the room with an uncharacteristic clumsiness. After a while, however, it began to get a little boring and Mal could see that Evie was getting increasingly frustrated.

So Mal decided to bring all the chaos to a stop, and she waltzed over to the breaker box that was hidden in the nearby closet.

After pushing her way past the many brooms and mops- seriously, how many cleaning utensils did one hall need- Mal scanned through the many switches and tried the one that was labeled with the name of her and Evie's room. She waited for a moment and then flicked it back on.

The green-eyed fairy then skipped out of the closet and silently prepared her most innocent, casual look. She grinned widely in spite of herself and then she pulled all of her mirth together into one calm package.

Mal casually opened the door, strolling through their dorm room door with ease.

"Yo, E? Oh, my wickedness, what in the world happened in here?" Mal questioned, placing her hands on her hips with a mock shocked expression.

Evie glanced at her and Mal could see the tired irritation.

"Yes, _Mal_ , I do wonder what happened in here," Evie replied, giving Mal a pointed look that indicated the bluenette knew precisely who was behind it. The purple-haired girl pretended not to notice as she gave the room a good inspection, sitting her phone down on Evie's vanity.

"Oh, wow. That's a lot of alarm clocks. Whoever set them in here must've really known what they were doing. I give them an A-plus," Mal whistled appreciatively at all of the clocks lying about.

Evie narrowed her eyes a bit in suspicion, but ultimately chose to let it go.

Mal watched eagerly as the taller girl proceeded to sit at her vanity to do her makeup. The slightly younger girl knew Evie's routine by heart, and the first thing Evie would do would be to open the drawer in the front to fetch her mascara.

Sure enough, Evie followed that exact process, pulling out the blue mascara and withdrawing the wand from the bottle. She began to apply it to her right eye as she brought her hand down to shut the drawer.

Mal held back the urge to maniacally grin as Evie put her hand on the drawer.

As soon as Evie shut it, the loudest honking noise known to mankind sounded off- an airhorn.

"EEEEP!" Evie squealed and her mascara wand wiped a disgusting trail of blue across her face as she jumped in shock.

Evie's eyes widened as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Mal couldn't help but chuckle a little, putting her hand on her face in an attempt to disguise it. However, Evie immediately picked up on it.

"Mal!" the bluenette angrily exclaimed, but the shorter girl just laughed harder.

"I'm sorry, I just can't take you seriously with that streak. You look like a sports fanatic," Mal giggled, smiling widely at Evie with an unbridled giddiness. Evie did not seem nearly as thrilled as the other girl, but Mal wasn't deterred.

"Of course, you know this means war," Evie deadpanned, ripping a moisturized wipe from the box she kept on her vanity and wiping her face hard as she kept her gaze trained on the shorter girl.

"You never were much of a prankster, but hey, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, E. Surprise me," Mal winked smugly, and she left into the hall with a little wave.

…

"Rotten to the core, who could ask for more? Nothing like the kid next, like the kid next door," Mal sang quietly to herself as she skipped toward her next site to target her chosen victim.

Upon reaching the door to the cafeteria, the green-eyed girl peeked her head in, ensuring that no one was there. To her utmost pleasure, it was completely empty as it always was on Saturday mornings.

Mal smiled and she couldn't resist a little cackle of total enthrallment. It had been much too long since she had really let loose. Granted, it was only comparatively small pranks done to her SBFF- Sister Best Friend Forever, a name that Mal would never ever tell Evie that she secretly called her- but it was still exhilarating to be having some fun for a change.

Instead of moving toward the refrigerator of healthy beverages and nutritious breakfasts, Mal went for the unhealthy dessert cabinet.

A very little-known fact about Evie was that she really loved to have a bit of Oreo cookies in the mornings on weekends. Nobody knew of her secret dessert for breakfast routine except Mal, whom Evie was forced to tell after Mal found her snacking on Oreos one morning while Evie thought the shorter girl was asleep.

Mal opened the cupboard and pulled out Evie's personal collection of traditional Oreos. She smiled to herself at the pretty cursive handwriting on the wrapper covering the outside of the container.

" _Do not open. Property of Evie_ ," Mal read to herself and chuckled a bit upon the sight of Evie's signature heart-dotted letter I in her name.

Turning away from the box, she took a knife out of a nearby drawer. She then proceeded to popping open each Oreo and scraping all of the white filling out of them until there were a ton of cookies without any middle.

Mal looked at the pile of Oreo middle that was lying on the counter and she shrugged, shoving it all into a trashcan. She always did like the cookie part of the Oreo, anyway. The filling was always too sweet and creamy for her liking.

"They say I'm trouble…say I'm bad…Say I'm evil and that makes me glad," Mal half-sang and half-hummed the tune, not even fully paying attention to her words as she withdrew a long tube from her pocket.

She took a look at the label and nodded her head, satisfied at the crisp writing of Crest across the side. A fresh, minty tube of toothpaste perfectly ready for Evie's consumption.

Mal glanced up at the clock on the wall and knew that she needed to hurry if she was going to beat Evie.

The green-eyed girl unscrewed the cap and began squirting toothpaste quickly on chocolate cookies, placing their other halves on top of them after she finished squirting them with the minty freshness.

Before long, she had successfully covered them all with paste and Mal scrambled to place them all back in the container.

Mal was just putting them back in the cabinet when she heard Evie coming down the hall, her footsteps easily recognizable to Mal. She had trained her ears to know when it was a friend or foe coming her way when she was on the Isle of the Lost. She never imagined it'd come in handy at Auradon.

Mal shut the cabinet door quickly and she looked around, trying to find a place to hide.

Evie's footsteps were growing louder as she approached the cafeteria.

Without hesitation, Mal dove for the nearest hiding spot- over the counter on the outside of the small area where the food workers busied about on weekdays.

Sure enough, as soon as she scaled the counter and landed on the ground in a crouch, she heard the sounds of the cafeteria door being opened. She pressed her back against the sturdy counter as she listened.

Evie was just on the other side of the counter now, and Mal could hear the cabinet open with that slight squeak it had. She heard the crinkling of the wrapper and bit her lip in anticipation.

Mal then heard the glorious crunch of the Oreo cookie between Evie's teeth.

"Ugh! Eww! Auugh!" Evie gagged, and Mal tried very hard not to laugh upon the sound of Evie, her perfectly fashionable lady-like best friend, spitting in the sink like some sort of insane hoodlum.

"Oh, gosh, that's so bad. What are in these things?! It- augh- tastes like toothpaste!" Mal could easily hear that Evie was close to puking.

Mal grinned wickedly and waited until she was sure Evie was in the middle of trying not to heave. That way, Mal could escape without immediate repercussions.

"Kill Streak: three!" Mal called out, jumping up quickly and running out of the room with a mad cackle once Evie was in the middle of gagging.

She looked behind her as she ran quickly through the hall to ensure that no one was behind her. To her surprise, Evie was standing in the doorway that she had just run out of, shaking her head with narrowed eyes and an odd smile.

Mal had to admit, it was slightly concerning, but really- what could Evie do to her that would even slightly catch her off-guard?

…

Easing into the restroom carefully, Mal looked around for any sign of her bluenette friend. To her great relief, there was no sign of her anywhere.

She snuck in and opened up each stall door, pulling up the toilet seat on each. Mal stood back at the mirrors and nodded her head, satisfied at her work so far. She then reached into her pocket, withdrawing a small roll of two-sided sticky duct tape and a box of explosive poppers.

She knew this prank wasn't going to be as fun as the rest since she probably wasn't even going to get the enjoyment of listening to Evie's surprise as she was pranked once again by Mal's mischievous genius.

Mal then approached the first stall, slipping on some spandex gloves in order to avoid getting any disgusting germs on her hands. Although there were a lot of gross things that Mal would perfectly willingly touch and handle, toilets were not one of them.

On the ridges upon the underside of the toilet seat, Mal carefully placed a piece of duct tape, ensuring that there were no wrinkles. She then carefully stuck four poppers on each piece of tape.

Mal repeated this process upon several of the toilets before finally reaching the last one.

However, before she could apply any poppers to the toilet, she heard somebody open the door. Mal shot up, ripping off her gloves in an attempt to look less suspicious, and she leaned against the side of the stall casually.

To her great surprise, Evie was the one who had entered the restroom, and Mal's eyes widened a bit before she put on a cool smile.

"What's shakin' bacon?" Mal questioned casually, and Evie jumped a bit in shock. She immediately narrowed her eyes.

After a moment of staring at her with a hidden question in her eyes, Evie finally responded carefully.

"Not much double-dutch," she quipped, a hint of a smile on her face but her expression remained ultimately guarded.

"What? Can't I go to the bathroom without getting a shady look? Everybody's gotta go sometime," Mal told her, shutting the stall door quickly so that Evie would hopefully go on about her business.

"Well, sorry. I can't help it. You've been really bad-behaved today, so I have a reason to be a little worried when I see you," Evie explained herself and Mal heard a door opening. She stood behind her door, waiting patiently.

"Don't worry. It's cool," Mal replied, trying to keep the smile from her voice.

"Okay. Do you have any more pranks pla-EEEK!" Evie yelped as a series of pops sounded off.

"Why, yes, thank you for asking. I do indeed," Mal chuckled, opening her stall door and strutting out of the restroom.

She heard a muffled yell of her name and she shrugged her shoulders, completely disregarding Evie's anger.

It was good to be a little bad.

…

Evie huffed angrily, finally returning to her and Mal's dorm room in pure exasperated exhaustion. Mal had tricked her so many times that day, it was beginning to grow ridiculous. Each time that Mal had an opportunity to see her after tricking her- which was practically every time she pranked her- Evie tried to conjure a knowing smile as if she had already found the perfect plan to get her back with.

There had to be something she could do that was at least as cruel as all of the things that Mal did to her.

It really wasn't right. Alarm clocks, airhorns, toothpaste Oreos, even an embarrassing toilet prank that left Evie never wanting to see those previously innocent little explosive poppers ever again.

As soon as Evie sat her purse on the floor, she groaned, plopping down in her chair with her head propped up by a hand.

Mal really was a frustrating little turd sometimes.

She really just needed to find some way to relax. Evie sighed, and eventually came to the decision that she should take a nice, hot shower to loosen up all of the tension left over from that day.

So, Evie quickly took down the braids threaded in her hair and sat the hair accessories as well as her earrings upon her vanity.

She then went into the bathroom and before long, she was standing in the shower with the curtain drawn and some of her favorite music playing on her phone nearby. Evie sighed with relief, knowing that all of her troubles were about to just melt away under the hot water.

Evie bent down, grabbing the knob between her fingers and turning it to full blast. She moved her head up into the spray and snorted in surprise when she saw red trickling down her arms.

Evie opened her mouth in surprise and accidentally got some of the liquid in her mouth. She spit it on the floor of the shower, her eyes wide as she suddenly recognized the taste. It was Kool-Aid. Cherry flavored Kool-Aid.

Which was going to make her hair a huge mess if she let it rain down on it. And it was already raining down on it.

Evie dove for the knob, turning it off as fast as she could as she hopped out of the shower. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself quickly.

Evie then, in a complete frenzy, flipped her hair over and stuck it in the sink, turning it on. She stuck her hand up in the stream and smiled when there was no sign of Kool-Aid water on her hand.

Once she was sure her hair was clear of any Kool-Aid, she settled for drying off what had gotten on her arms as well as face and she put on her pajamas. She likely wasn't going to leave their dorm for the rest of the day. At least that way she could avoid more of Mal's tricks.

Evie settled on her bed, curling up to read a book while wearing her favorite fluffy baby blue robe with the red sash. She poked her lips into a pout as she frustratedly considered what she could possibly do to get back at Mal.

Suddenly, almost like a blessing of divine intervention, Mal's phone dinged in a notification of a new text message. The bluenette raised her gaze to the plain purple phone resting on her vanity. Mal must have left it sometime earlier that day.

Evie assumed that it was likely Ben, who had been trying to teach Mal how to use the phone. Of course, Evie was almost as clueless as Mal, and she was trying to learn from what the young King was teaching Mal.

But she had overheard something earlier that day that Carlos was casually conversating with Jay about. It had something to do with changing certain words in a text message so that they sent to someone else an embarrassing message.

Evie stood up, striding over to Mal's phone and looking at the front of the screen.

" _Hey, Mal, do you want to talk? It'd be a good opportunity to improve your texting prowess_

 _; )_ " Evie raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile of her own forming upon her features.

She had an idea. And she was going to need Carlos's help.

…

That night, after Mal had finally returned, the purple-haired girl lounged upon her bed, completely relaxed as she texted Ben. Evie was sitting not too far from her, busying herself with making the gathers on the skirt that she had been working on.

"I have to go to bed, but I'll be seeing you tomorrow at noon?" Mal smiled a bit, but the corners of her lips quickly downturned as she realized that she had already agreed to go with Evie, Jay, and Carlos to eat lunch. She shook her head, resolving to tell him that she'd just meet with him later.

Mal typed her message and sent it, sitting it down beside her for a moment as she stretched.

"You having fun texting?" Evie questioned, looking up from her work briefly to meet Mal's eyes.

"Yeah. I'm doing tons better with my phone." Evie hummed in response, seeming distracted and a little distant. Mal pursed her lips, looking down at her lap.

"You still sore about today?" Mal asked. Evie raised an eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders as she more closely examined her skirt.

"Not really. I guess you're still having to adjust to Auradon. I'm just glad you're not pranking the entire school," Evie grinned, keeping her eyes on her gathering.

Mal smiled and she quickly averted her gaze to her phone upon the sound of a notification. She picked it up happily and swiped the unlock button.

" _Uh, Mal? Did you mean to send that?_ " Mal furrowed her brow, and scrolled up a bit. Her eyes widened in mortification and her jaw went slack at the message she had actually sent back to him.

" _No, I'll probably have to see you a little naked. I promised to go to lunch with E and the boys. But I'll definitely see you anytime naked. Maybe after 1:00?_ " That was the message written. Mal scrambled to text him back, denying that she would ever say something like that.

"Oh, no! Wh- I didn't type that!" Mal said to herself, freaking out.

" _Mal, you did it again, dear_ ," Ben replied and Mal could almost hear the laugh that was surely resulting from her humiliation.

She looked back at her message and face-palmed.

" _Nonononononononono! I meant naked. NAKED. I'll see you naked. Naked than noon_." Mal quickly started trying to type apologies, growing increasingly frenzied.

" _I'm so sorry! I don't know why this stupid phone is doing this to me! I want to see you naked!_ " Mal was even more horrified and her eyes were widened comically.

" _Not later! Naked!_ "

" _Wait… I think that naked and later are switched around…_ "

A sudden outburst of laughter was then heard and Mal looked up from her phone at the taller girl sitting on the other bed.

After several moments, Mal blinked and raised an eyebrow.

"What is so funny?" Evie just laughed harder.

"The look on your face! Oh, my gosh, you were so shocked!" Evie practically cackled as she sat her head back against the headboard in pure hysterics.

Mal looked at Evie and then turned her gaze back to her phone, alternating between the two.

It then suddenly dawned upon her the exact reason that she wanted to see Ben "naked."

"You did this?" Mal demanded incredulously, and Evie just grinned widely, calming down from her laughter.

Mal stared at the bluenette for a long moment before she chucked a pillow at her.

"E!" Evie quickly got out of her bed and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind her as she took cover from her irritated best friend. Mal immediately got up and pounded on the door.

"Let me in!"

"Not by the hair upon your mother's chin!" Evie shot back, and Mal was sent back to a time long before she ever imagined that she could share a moment like this with her sister. Mal shook her head, leaning back against the door as she rolled her eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted as the exertion of the antics of the day fully set in.

"I'm going to wait you out, you know."

"And I'll accept my punishment. After I wait you out and you to go to sleep."

Mal smiled affectionately, knowing Evie couldn't see it through the door and she slid her fingers underneath the bathroom door. Evie's finger quickly found her own.

"Things might seem peaceful now, but I'm just lowering your guard," Mal weakly warned, squeezing Evie's fingers.

"Whatever you say, Mal."

 **Wow, I'm on a roll, you guys! I normally** _ **never**_ **go this fast with writing new stories. And I think I have another idea cooking in the old noggin already.** **Please let me know how you liked this one in a review, and I'll hopefully see you all soon in the next fanfic!**


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